• When a Client Isn’t Ready to Quit

    Every CSAT eventually gets the client who is not ready to quit. They didn’t come to therapy because they wanted to. Their partner found something, gave an ultimatum, and here they sit. They don’t believe they have a problem. They don’t want to stop. They may want to understand why they do what they do.…

  • The Model Isn’t the Focus: Your Client Is

    The Model isn’t the Focus: Your Client Is I had a supervision session recently with a candidate who is doing good work. He is thoughtful, he cares about his clients, and he is trying hard to do CSAT work the “right” way. But partway through our conversation, I heard something I hear often from newer…

  • The Swimsuit She Keeps Adjusting

    I was at the beach this past weekend with some old friends. One afternoon I was sitting on the beach, watching the water, in a conversation, and people watching simultaneously, like most of us do on vacation. Then I saw something I can’t shake. Where it Starts A cluster of girls, maybe twelve or thirteen…

  • What Kink Gets Right Most Couples Get Wrong

    What Kink Gets Right that Most Couples Get Wrong Here is a finding that consistently surprises clinicians when they first encounter it: the people who tend to have the best sex lives are people who practice kink and fetishes. The immediate reaction is usually something like, “What are we saying, kink is better?” No, that…

  • Not Attracted to Your Partner? A Sex Therapy Explanation

    Not Attracted to Your Partner? A Sex Therapy Explanation Few things land harder in a couples session. It sounds like a verdict. Physical. Permanent. Out of anyone’s control. The partner on the receiving end usually goes quiet in a way that’s different from other conflicts, because this one feels like there’s nothing to argue with.…

  • Understanding Love: A Therapeutic Look at Sternberg’s Triangular Theory

    Understanding Love: A Therapeutic Look at Sternberg’s Triangular Theory As a counselor, love is a topic that finds its way into many sessions—whether it’s the absence of it, the complexity of it, or the pain of watching it change. One of the most helpful models I’ve come across, both for understanding my own relationships and…

  • Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy: Understanding the Dark Triad in Clinical Practice

    Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy: Understanding the Dark Triad in Clinical Practice In therapy sessions, especially in the context of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, we often encounter deeply ingrained relational dysfunctions that go far beyond surface-level behavior. These patterns—manipulation, emotional detachment, and domination—are not random. They often stem from personality traits collectively known as The Dark…

  • The Impetus and Solution to Divorce in Modern Culture

    The Impetus and Solution to Divorce in Modern Culture For most of human history, marriage was not a matter of personal fulfillment — it was a practical alliance. Across approximately 6,000 years, unions were formed based on political strategy, financial gain, family legacy, and social survival. Love, as we now understand it, rarely factored into…