A Greater Desire

I have reached two weeks of studying French. Surprisingly, I’ve learned quite a large amount of verbs and vocabulary, allowing me to get what I want across to most people. The only problem is the large gap which exists between knowing the words and being able to understand them when others talk.

The first week living here proved to be quite fun, laughing at my many failed attempts to communicate, meeting new people and places, experiencing a new culture. Anyone can thrive in this setting for some time, but once the glory of the new experiences diminish, one is left in a new place where communicating is difficult.

Living in a household of seven people is difficult in and of itself. Often stealing time to myself becomes a struggle around so many and sharing a room with Guillaume.  No matter how much I slept or hid away from people, after a little more than a week I was continually exhausted.

Last night Christine and I attended a bible study downtown. Ironically, most of the people spoke English, many being American missionaries. However, that night I primarily heard French. Throughout dinner a few words of English were spoken, allowing me to practice comprehending the French the rest of the evening.  The study took place in French taught by Henry, an American missionary who has lived in France for forty five years.  After thirty minutes, I couldn’t muster the energy to continue listening, attempting to understand the quickly spoken words.

The study lasted around an hour with another thirty minutes of prayer following. When we finished, everyone began talking with one another about, well I haven’t a clue what.  However, Henry turned to me and said, “Exhausted isn’t it?” I respond ” What is?”.  ”Trying to follow in French, translating what you can in your head. It takes a lot out of you. I know it did for me for the first few months I was here.”

Amazingly enough this never hit me until then. The mental energy necessary in attempting to understand another language is immense.  Looking back I find times when I mentally tuned everyone out because of my exhaustion from trying to understand. At night I often watch a tv show or two in English because I need to listen to something without the mental effort to comprehend.

Before realizing this, I found myself longing to be back in Denver with my friends, only to converse with other with minimal effort. Now I understand why.

Today I experiences the first taste of homesickness.  I’ve been gone for a less than ten days, but today I would have loved to be back in Denver.  Yesterday quickly filled with things to do and places to go.  We visited George at his office on the other side of Grenoble, about forty five minutes.  As soon as we arrived home, quickly packing a bag I grabbed what I needed to go swimming with some friends.  Christine dropped Guillaume and I off at Nicolas’ work where we had to say bonjour to Nicolas’s boss.  When I say we said bonjour, were couldn’t have been there longer than an hour.  In France, saying hello and catching up with any friend you see goes without question.

Nicolas, Guillaume and I arrived at the Busi’s house  (Raphael, Nicolas, Justine and Ségolène) around seven.  Quite hungry, I expected top each relatively soon.  Oh no.  We talked for a few hours, played ping-pong while dinner was cooking, or so I thought.  Not until eight thirty did I see Raphael put being cooking the meal.  After dinner around sunset we decided to go swimming.  Yes, we went swimming at Lake Paladru for about an hour right after sunset, watching the colors slowly fade from the sky.  Our evening swim ended around eleven when we returned back to the Busi’s house.  The decided to watch a French movie around midnight, while I decided to work on my website instead.  We didn’t return home till two in the morning, a normal act for Nicolas I’m beginning to realize, more like experience.  Last Saturday we arrived home around four in the morning and another night one.

If you know me at all, it’s a minor miracle if I’m awake fast midnight.  Yet here, people talk and hang out with each other to the early hours of the morning.  Regardless of going to bed at two and waking up at ten, I awoke exhausted.  The past few day’s I’ve spend anywhere from three to six hours working on French.  Today, studying was useless, quickly I became frustrated, I could barely speak French.  Eh, it was bad.  All I wanted to do was to curl up on a couch with some friends around who know we well and just be.  The scenery, food, people and places are absolutely breathtaking here, yet nothing can take the place of some people who know the real you.  That’s what I miss the most.  I miss you all.  I hope life is good back in the states.  Love ya!

Sunday I experienced my first major “Oh Crap” moment while in France.  The first five days I spend all my time with the Gabriele’s primarily at their house, with a few trips to the park, the Basteille and Grenoble.  Each day my French would improve by working with them, resulting in them often saying I’m learning French very quickly, faster than any other person they’ve taught.  But of course I think, “Yea, I’m getting pretty good at this.”  Who wouldn’t think so if everyone keeps telling them?

This weekend I spent time with George’s brother, Nicolas’s friends, attended church with the family, and a university group with Nicolas.  Holy crap! Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, one word I know, bla, bla, bla, bla, one word I know, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla. After five minutes of the sermon, I simply gave up trying to understand anything because of the headache it gave me.  I decided to write in my journal instead, at least it would be productive.  George and Christine, my French parents as I call them, lead worship at church and kindly introduced me to the entire church.  I just wish I knew it was coming since I have no idea what they said until Guillaume hit me and said stand up.  After church, a few missionaries who attend the church became my saving grace by seeking me out and talking.

During the drive home and through lunch I barely spoke a word, French or English.  I felt a great sense of accomplishment concerning my French skills throughout the week, only to have a rude awakening at church.  Christine asked me why I was quite and I simply told her I was overwhelmed, of course a word she didn’t know so we looked it up in a dictionary, a routine task we perform about fifty or so times a day.  The Gabriele’s tell me I am progressive extremely well, but also my friends here who speak English repreatively tell me after two months my French will be great, able to carry on most conversations.

Combining the daily progress and the vast amount of encouragement the view of my French skills was greatly inflated.  But alas, even though David or Ashley aren’t here to burst my bubble, someone stepped in to take their place.  After lunch the family, George, Christine, Nicolas, Guillaume and I went to the Chateau de Visille, or Castle of the Revolution.  One of the best things about the Gabriele’s is everyone, literally each family member, loves helping me learn French.  We walked through the castle garden’s for over three hours, the entire time George walked beside me teaching me the language, all while laughing and having a great time.  Exactly what I needed after the morning.  The Lord brought me here for the summer to learn French, to be humbled, and to learn it’s okay to look stupid.  So far, the last two have been greatly accomplished.