Archive for February, 2009

When we hear the word “Lent” I would assume most people think of giving something up for forty days, whether pop (or soda for you southerners), sweets, alcohol, or something else.  The period of Lent has become part of American society where everyone from Catholics to Protestants to atheists participate in this time of sacrifice.  Throughout my life I have viewed Lent as a challenge: “Can I abstain from desserts for forty days!”  Deep down I wanted to possess the willpower to hold back such desires.  Looking back on those experience, all I can do is confess my ignorance.

The true meaning of Lent is often lost in the Protestant faith.  This year I saw only a few churches holding Ash Wednesday service, for Lent appears to be a lost season in the churches today.  For years I was ignorant of the meaning, however some of my friends have recently sparked my interest in this season of sacrifice.

The traditional purpose of Lent is to participate in a season of prayer and fasting for forty days, representing the forty days Jesus was tempted in the desert.  From Ash Wednesday till Easter, people fast from whatever they choose for the forty days while the six Sundays are not included.  These Sunday are considered “mini-Easters” where people come together for prayer and fellowship for what Christ accomplished.

Fasting.  What is the point of rejecting my desires for coffee or sweets, maybe food in general?  Last semester a friend of mine gave me the best definition of fasting I have heard.  She would spend days, sometimes weeks fasting from food.  When asked why and how could she do such a thing, she smiled with a simple answer.  “I love Jesus more than I love food.  More than I love this cookie” ironically the cookie I just offered her.  There exists a beauty in such a simple answer.  Beyond all the theology, all the history behind fasting, including the season of Lent, lies this truth.  I can live without sugar or coffee, tea or alcohol.  I can survive without such delicacies.  However, I cannot survive without God.  And with God, I can survive even more.

This season of Lent, I gave up tea.  If you have known me in the past year, you know how much I love tea.  A crisp Red Rose or Irish Breakfast in the morning, a soothing Zen green tea in the afternoon, or a tranquil orange black tea to ease my mind while bringing the day to a close.  During the recently months I have throughly enjoyed many subtle sips of soothing tea to warm my soul.  Yet no matter how enjoyable it has become, I can live without it.  During this season of forty-six days, I pray I can seek that enjoyment in the arms of Jesus.  There will be times of bitterness or grief in my candid attempt of willpower, but this is okay.  For no matter how spiteful I may become, I will rest in one simple fact.  I love Jesus more than I love tea.

Simple church.  This is another name for house church.  Taking time to process my experiences at house church, I being to further understand myself in new ways.  As I write this, a simple smile grows across my face.  God has used the family I found at simple church to break down the barriers I have made and bring joy to this hardened heart.

This heart has longed for something for quite some time now, but I have just begun to understand what it longed for.  Each week I find myself anxiously anticipating simple church.  What is simple church to me?  Intimacy, vulnerability, community, family.  I have discovered what my heart longed for, a family.  In saying this I do not seek to insult my biological family, but rather to express the love I found through a family of believers.

Experiencing a level of intimacy with fellow believers brings forth a level of healing, stripping away the walls I created to protect myself.  All my life I have sought to find a community where I lay all my dirty, sinful self before others while rather than receiving resentment or being judged, I am offered comfort, love and acceptance.  In this family of believers, we openly share our struggles, issues and sins with one another to allow the Lord to transform us.  The greatest blessing in this lies in where the transformation and healing comes from; it arises from the Lord while he willingly chooses to use the family of believers, us, to heal our brother’s or sister’s wounds.

What is church?  This is a question I have sought understanding from the Lord in the recently weeks.  After experiencing simple church, I begin to see the purpose of church in a new light.  Church is a place to be real with one another, a safe place to reveal the need for help in our lives, a place to love, weep and prayer for one another.

I feel my generation is seeking this model of church.  We don’t seek to have a perfect music team, or a funny, witty preacher; we seek a place to reveal our faults and failures to others experiencing the same while longing after the Lord together.  This aspect of church no longer exists in many church today.  Replacing this atmosphere is one of talented musicians and well delivered sermons while people long to be known, not performed to.  In no way am I attacking any churches, but I feel this model lacks what my hearts needs and longs for.  Some people find it in small groups or discipleship groups, but I never did for one reason or another.  But it has been in a house, in a living room filled with stories, prayers and tears it has been found.

My heart longs for these things: to be honest, to admit I’m in need, to ask others and God for help, to seek the Lord together.  Returning to my original question, what is church?  Church is experiencing the love and transformational power of the Lord in an intimate community of believers.  I admit I cannot stand alone in my walk with the Lord.  It is through simple church I found others strives for God while grasping the hand of another.  Intimate community.  This is church for me.

Being at grad school has taught me many different things I didn’t expect.  I came here to develop my theology, beliefs about God and the best way to teach others about him.  Classes revolve around learning different aspects of scripture, but more importantly how to interpret it.  Yet a conversation with a friend struck me at my core this past week.  We were discussing different topics about life and was blindsided by a few concepts I heard.  While being at seminary, in the counseling program, a friend of mine had never truly felt listened to or heard.

My first impression sees a counseling program revolving around learning to listen to another, to hear their heart and their emotions.  Before one can begin to make a foundation in their counseling techniques, they need to build their theological foundation below it.  Yet many people feel the need to express their opinions on theology, either to feel justified in those beliefs or to develop such beliefs, rather than practice the basic principle of counseling, listening.

Why do human beings feel the need to express their beliefs, to let others know they have them formulated?  Does it empower us to state our conclusions to others?  Are we teaching or even helping whom we are interacting with stating them?

As I seek to better build the foundation of my beliefs, I continue to see their importance but another area begins to rise to the surface.  If I know every fact about the bible, how could I impact other with this knowledge?  Would I stand on a street corner sharing my knowledge with everyone passer-by?  I could become a professor and lecture about the wonderful knowledge I posses, hoping to transfer it into my students.  This is a good possibility and one which may bear much fruit.  Yet I am leaning towards a different model.  What if I sat down with a person, and listened to their heart.  Not simply throw out information that I feel applicable to their situation, but first to listen to where they are.  Asking them questions about why they feel certain ways, purposefully leading the conversation to certain topics or areas where I may mention some of the knowledge I learned in the past.   Not only do I attempt to give this person information, I consciously seek to know the right timing and place to us it.  Would this be more effective in transforming people’s lives?

The proverbs frequently discuss wisdom and knowledge.  My understanding of the two is this, knowledge is possessing information and facts, but wisdom is knowing when to use it.  What good would it be for me to possess all the knowledge in the world, yet not know how to use it for God’s glory?  If I don’t seek after Him and his timing for sharing it, what good would come forth?

It pained me to hear a person experienced many people seeking after knowledge of God and ministry, willingly stating it at will, but not the wisdom to know when to use it.  I find irony in students seeking to impact others in the future, forgetting about the relationships and interactions they have that day.  Do we gain wisdom when we hold a diploma in our hand, instantly knowing when and how to use our knowledge?  Or should we actively seek an understanding of how to use that knowledge to impact other in our current situations?  I pray my actions lean towards the later.